The setback

About a month ago, I was asked to leave my previous organisation. I was one of the 1000s who were affected by the layoffs across the globe, across all kinds of organisations - from leading tech giants like Google and Facebook to established startups like mine.

I was thoroughly enjoying my role as a Senior Product Manager at Phable Care, building some kickass products for the doctors on our platform. But, unfortunately, I was asked to leave as the company was not able to secure its series C funding. And I was not alone. About 50 others also were asked to leave along with me.

It is a sad feeling. You work so hard building something, and right when the foundation is just laid, you are asked to leave. All your hopes of doing something great get shattered just like that, in a moment. You think, ‘another setback in life.’ And you don’t have any other option but to accept the new reality and move on.

So, I moved on and it’s been a month so far.

Not really a setback

When I was told that I was being fired, I knew that there was nothing worrisome about it and that I would figure something out sooner or later. So, I didn’t whine or stare into the empty wall pitying myself or curse the company for shattering my hopes. I didn’t do any of that. After all, it was just a temporary halt in a much longer journey.

I did not immediately set out looking for another opportunity. I had gone through the job search journey a couple of times already in the past and knew that it would need a lot of rigour, persistence and hard work to crack a good one again. Yet I was not perturbed. It did not bother me that I had lost my job and would probably be jobless for a month or two.

I felt it was ok.

This could have been partly because of my wife. She is employed by the Government and has a stable job. So, that definitely gave me a lot of confidence and I knew that nothing would break down if my salary doesn’t get credited for a couple of months. I knew I would always have her support which was reassuring. So, thanks to her for giving me that confidence.

But keeping the financial security aside, there were a few other factors that helped me keep my calm.

A much-needed break

I think one major reason was I personally wanted to take a break and slow down because so many things were happening very fast and I wasn’t able to be there fully in those moments. I didn’t particularly want to rush into things.

“Many times, you get so immersed in what you are doing and what lies ahead that you miss out on so many wonderful moments happening around you. You don’t seem to have ‘time’ to enjoy them fully.” That happened to me.

A lot of things got changed in the past year - I got married, was occupied with a lot of post-marriage customs till recently, vacated my house in Bengaluru, changed my job, my wife got selected as a Deputy Collector in Andhra Pradesh, we moved from Chennai to Guntur, we constantly travelled to many places - for work and for personal trips and so on.

All of these were significant events in their own way. I was not overwhelmed by them, but they definitely kept me busy. These were in addition to the already hectic office work. So, when the office work was officially ‘called off,’ some part of me definitely felt like, ‘Oh wow!’

Maybe, I just needed a break and the layoff was a blessing in disguise.

What break did I need anyway? Break from what?

This did not mean taking a break from doing anything or a break time where I wanted to simply lie down and do nothing or watch a dozen movies and a handful of series and chill out!

No.

I probably would have been more frustrated if I had to take such a break where I did nothing.

Break from what?

I was looking at this break as a trigger to slow down, clean up the clutter, separate the music from the noise, and figure out a meaningful way in the chaos. “This seemed like a setback, but could I use this as a prompt to reset a few things?” I thought.

I also knew that I was not being my best self over the past year. I wanted to do many things for a very long time but could not do them - mainly because I was either caught up with work or was just plain lazy. I used to complete my office work and just relax for the rest of the time… That was not satisfying.

However, the past month of having time for myself was really a boon, a blessing that helped me get back to the things that I wanted to do for a very long time. It gave me a sense of fulfilment that I missed.

A few things helped me gain myself.

Changed my routine.

Staying up late in the night watching a movie or doing some work was a normal thing. But when I was asked to leave Phable I realised that I would have more time at my disposal and that it was an opportunity to change my routine. So, I started sleeping early and waking up early. From getting up at 8:30 AM, I have been able to move it to 7:00 AM these days and hope to gradually move it to 6:00 AM.

This was a welcome change that I wanted for so long which wouldn’t have happened if not for the layoff.

Practised meditation again.

I practised meditation regularly since my 7th grade but that wasn’t the case in the past 3-4 years. I stopped practising meditation completely. But, in the past, I had experienced that meditation made me calmer, more productive, and more creative. The layoff gave me that extra push to practise meditation again and I have now made it a point to meditate for 15-20min every day.

Completed reading 3 books.

Back in 2020, during the pandemic, I saved some time as there was no need to travel to the office due to the lockdown. In that extra time, I started reading books. But over the past 2 years, though I was predominantly working from home, the habit of reading books faded gradually. But thanks to the layoff, I was able to get back to reading again. I completed reading 3 books so far and wish to read at least 6 books every year. This doesn’t seem like a huge goal, so I am hopeful that I will be able to meet this goal every year.

Revived my blog.

I started this blog in 2021. I learnt how to set up a blog for almost free of cost, explored some blogging tech stacks and figured out what would work best for me. It took some time to set this up, but I did it - I used the Hugo framework for content management and hosted it on Firebase. Setting it up was fun!

Though the blog was set up, it was not complete. There were still some minor issues which required more attention from me. Unfortunately even that did not happen in the last 2 years. Thanks to the layoff, I was able to fix the blog too!

Started publishing again.

I actively wrote about product management, user behaviour, and some personal stories when I started blogging back in 2021. Writing gave me joy and a sense of fulfilment. It was an avenue for me to do something creative and give life to my imagination. This was missing in my life and I badly wanted to start writing again. Thanks to the layoff, I was able to get back to writing again and I couldn’t be happier. I published 4 articles since the layoff and plan to publish 50 this year! Long way to go!

Got Google Adsense approval for my blog.

Being an entrepreneur at heart, I was always excited about any prospect of creating something from scratch. The blog was one such endeavour in a way. I wanted to take the blog to the next level. I explored different ways and found that I could join the Google Publishers Network through Adsense. I applied for Google Adsense then, in 2021, and it was rejected! I applied again but it was rejected again. I applied for the third time and got rejected again. I got frustrated and stopped applying.

Fast forward to 2023, I made some changes to the blog structure and gave it another shot - only to get rejected again!

But I was very stubborn this time- the layoff probably gave me wings! I spent a lot of time reading on Quora and watching videos on how to get approval. I then made some more changes to the blog and applied again. And after 2 weeks of a long wait, the blog was approved for Adsense. It felt amazing… like achieving something great!

The happiness you get from earning money from something that you have built from scratch is unmatched. Though very tiny (at the moment) compared to the salary as a Product Manager, it gives me a great sense of fulfilment! Thanks to the layoff again.

Got my car license.

I first paid the fee for my 4-wheeler driving license in 2016. Yes, 7 years ago. But that was in vain as I just did not give the driving test.

For the past 7 years, this was such a constant quibble in my head that I doubted myself. There was this regret about not completing something that I had started which was not even difficult or impossible. But when I applied for the license again recently, I finally got over that regret. I have the license now.

It might seem such a small thing but, sometimes, it is these small things which you were not able to accomplish for so long that once you accomplish them, you feel liberated.

Created an online resume.

To stand out in my job search, I created an online resume for myself: Resume link. This is helping me showcase myself better and is giving me more visibility with the recruiters!

Built a website for a friend.

I tested my skills in building and launching a portfolio website from scratch. Out of nowhere, one of my friends asked me if someone could help him set up a website for his manufacturing company. I just took it upon myself and set up a basic website. Here’s the link. The website is still a work in progress but setting this up in just one day gave me reassurance that I can do new things if I will. I wouldn’t have done this if not for the layoff.

These are small but great things.

Adversities throw you into deep waters and it is in these deep waters that you discover great things which you otherwise wouldn’t have. The layoff, which seemed like a setback, helped me discover my older self.

Completing this ‘long-pending’ list of activities felt liberating and helped me ‘reset.’ I am calling it a reset because I used to do these activities earlier before I got ‘too busy’ or just got ‘too lazy’ and this break helped me reset back to myself. And rediscovering your older self sometimes feels liberating.

Although you should convert every setback into an opportunity it should not always take a major setback to do what feels liberating to you. You don’t want to burn your fingers whenever you want to do something great. You can simply do great things all the time, and occasionally burn your fingers in that pursuit. And it should be a constant pursuit.

I have now slowly moved into the new ‘Normal’ after the reset, slowly fitting all these fulfilling activities into my routine - in some form or the other.

Again, the idea is not to get overwhelmed by these additional tasks/activities but to embrace them and fit them into the daily routine to the best of your ability, with a lot of diligence and conviction to complete them and not leave them midway.

Did you ever find yourself in such situations? What makes you feel liberated? What fulfilling activity did you do recently?

Let me know!